


coping mechanisms

by Ouranhostclubstory



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Riverdale (TV) Fusion, Cheryl Blossom Deserves Better, F/F, POV Toni Topaz, Protective Cheryl Blossom, Riverdale High School, Soft Toni Topaz, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, Top Toni Topaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29775051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ouranhostclubstory/pseuds/Ouranhostclubstory
Summary: cheryl and toni have a bond that goes beyond death, and toni needs to cope
Relationships: Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

“Wrong, Penelope you killed the only girl I’ll ever love and for that, you’re going to pay,” I said while struggling to carry Cheryl’s lifeless body in my arms.

“That’s where you’re wrong Topaz, I hit you where it hurts so go ahead and kill me but I’ll still have the satisfaction of knowing I have wounded you.” She said with a laugh.

“How could you, she was your daughter?” I said while crying.

She smiled. “That nightmare child was never my daughter, did you think I had any kind of love for Cheryl? Because if so that’s where you were most definitely wrong. You two have gotten in my way too many times to count this was simply a warning to stay out of my way.”

I was burning with rage all I could think about was how bad I wanted to end Penelope, that’s when I laid Cheryl’s body on the ground and stared right at the devil herself. That’s when I grabbed my switchblade and did what I had to do I ran at Penelope while jamming the blade into her side. She fell to her knees with a grunt I was going to stab her again when I felt someone grab my arm. I turned around to see Sweet pea.

“Pea, let me go,” I said while trying to pull my arm out of his grasp.

“Tiny, I’m not going to let you go through with this.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’ll never be able to forgive yourself if you kill her.”

“She killed Cheryl, what gives her the right to be alive?” I said while crying. 

He took a deep breath. “But, who are you to say who lives or dies you’re not the law Tiny.”

“Stop calling me that, and stop pretending like you’re looking out for me,” I said while pulling my arm away.

“I’m not pretending, I do care I just don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret.”

“It doesn’t matter Cheryl deserves justice for what Penelope did to her.”

“It matters because I don’t think you’ll be able to live with yourself knowing that you killed someone again.”

“I have to do this Pea, I won’t be able to live knowing that she got away with this.”

“She won’t I’ve already informed Jughead about what has happened here, the Serpents will take care of Penelope. So why don’t you drop the knife, and come with me? Jones will take it from here.” He said while holding out his hand.

I looked at Penelope then at him, I took a deep breath before handing him the switchblade. I took one last look at Penelope while walking over to her I got down on one knee beside her.

“You’re lucky Sweet pea was here to stop me because I wouldn’t have hesitated you deserve whatever you get,” I said before standing up and going over to Cheryl and picking her up.

“What are you gonna do with red?” Sweet pea said. 

“I’m not sure, but she deserves a proper burial or at least a funeral,” I said with tears running down my cheek.

“Tiny, I am sorry if I could bring redback I would.”

“But you can’t, I can’t, no one can she’s gone,” I said In between sobs.

Sweet pea stopped. “Why don’t you let me carry her? You’re too upset and it’s a far walk.”

“I shook my head while continuing to walk. “She was my girl I’ve got her.”

“Where are we even going?” Sweet pea said trying to catch back up.

“The Whyrm.” 

“Why there?”

“Because like I said before she deserves at least a proper burial.”

After that conversation Sweet pea and I didn’t say a word the whole way to the Whyrm. When we got there I was immediately swarmed by people giving me their condolences and trying to get a look at Cheryl. Until Fp came out and had something to say about it.

“ALRIGHT GIVE HER SOME SPACE.” He said while trying to make his way through the crowd.

“Why don’t you come with me?” He said as he reached me.

I nodded. “How about I take red?” Sweet pea said.

I hesitated instead of saying or doing anything I just stared at him. “You should let him take her and get her ready for tomorrow,” Fp spoke up.

I nodded while handing her to Sweet pea and then following Fp to the back of the bar.

“How are you holding up kid?”

“How do you think I’m holding up?”

He chuckled while handing me a glass of whiskey. “Okay, yeah dumb question.”

I took the glass while bringing it to my lips to take a sip.

“I’m sorry about Cheryl.”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying.” I said trying to my best ability not to roll my eyes, I was tired of everyone saying that to me.”

“Jughead’s taking care of Penelope.”

“That’s what Sweets told me.”

It was silent for a moment and all I could think about was Cheryl, one moment in particular playing in the back of my head.

Cheryl and I were laying in bed one night after I had just gotten back from a meeting with the Serpents.

“TT?” Cheryl said while running her fingers along my jaw.

“Yes?”

“When you think of your future with me what do you see?”

“Do you even have to ask me that?” I said with a chuckle.

I could almost feel her eye roll. “I’m being serious I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

“Well,” I said while rolling over so I was on top of Cheryl.

“I see you and I both going to High Smith College, with you majoring in clothing design and me majoring in photography. Then after college, I see you running your own business and me taking pictures for a living.”

She smiled. “What about kids?

I raised an eyebrow. “I see us married with two kids and we’re both still so in love with each other after all those years, does that answer your question?

She chuckled. “Yes TT It does, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

“Always,” I said while pulling her in for a kiss.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

“Toni?” Fp said pulling me out of my thoughts.

“Hmm?” That was all I managed to get out.

“How about you go home and get yourself cleaned up. Maybe get some sleep?

I shook my head. “I can’t go back to that house knowing that Cheryl won’t be there.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sweet pea's been letting me crash at his place since Cheryl’s death. I haven’t been back to Thistle House in days, We had Cheryl’s funeral yesterday which for the most part was a load of crap. 

“I’m so sorry about Cheryl, I know how close you two were.” Ginger said making her way over to me.

“Why are you even here Ginger?”

“Because Cheryl was my friend.”

I laughed. Friend? No, she wasn’t you two both hated each other. You literally turned your back on her the minute she was accused of killing her brother.” I said beginning to raise my voice. Which caught the attention of a lot of people.

“Why did any of you come? None of you were ever there for her you either treated her like trash or never even gave her a chance I get that she was a little much sometimes but she didn’t deserve the way she was treated.”

“Toni? Why don’t you calm down, I don’t think now is the time to cause a scene.” Veronica spoke up.

“You’re a fine one to talk Lodge.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me don’t think I forgot about all your threats towards Cheryl, and after everything, she did for you.”

“Okay, I’m going to let that one slide because you’re obviously hurting right now,” Veronica said trying to keep her cool.

“Whatever, I’m out of here,” I said while making my way over to my motorbike.

Later on that night.

“What the hell was that today?” Sweet Pea said storming inside the trailer.

“You mean me sticking up for my girlfriend?” I said attempting to stand up. 

“Are you drunk?” 

“So what if am?”

“Toni looks at yourself, you’re drunk all the time, you’re moody. You don’t sleep, you barely eat, and what was that today with Veronica? She was just trying to help you and you went off on her.”

“No, I told her the truth.”

“You know Cheryl did her fair share of things to people.”

I clenched my fists. “She changed she was lonely she didn’t have anyone after Jason died. All she knew how to was put up this facade and everyone thought she was a monster and she wasn’t. She was just hurting and yet people still treated her like shit. Even after she changed. Why are you even sticking up for Veronica?”

“I’m not, I’m trying to get you to see that you aren’t okay.”

“By insulting Cheryl?”

“I wasn’t insulting her. I was just trying to get you to see.”

“See what exactly?” 

“That how you’re acting isn’t okay.” He said beginning to raise his voice a little.

Tears started to fall down my cheek. “ I can’t do it anymore Pea.”

“Tiny, I’m so sorry.” That was all he managed to get out before his whole demeanor changed. That’s when he pulled me In for a hug.

“Hey, you’re going to get through this.” He said while running his hand up and down my back.

“I don’t think I can, not without Cheryl,” I said in between sobs. “I couldn’t save her, I couldn’t do anything to stop Penelope I was too weak.”

“She had you both outnumbered, there was no way you could have taken all of them on.”

“I could have tried,” I said while pulling away from him. “I was gonna have kids with her. I was gonna start a life with her. Now I’ll never get to hear her tell me how stupid I am when I make a really bad joke or wake up next to her. I’ll never get to tell her that I love her again. It should have been me not her I should have done more than I did.”

Sweet Pea gave me a look of remorse. “You can’t go back and change what happened.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I yelled.

He put his hands up almost like he was surrendering. “I just hate seeing you like this.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” I said wiping away some of my tears.

“How about you try and get some sleep?”

“Yeah.” That was all I said while laying down on the couch.

“Toni?” An all too familiar voice said, I jumped up to see a figure with fiery red hair standing over me.

“Cheryl? No there’s no way this is real.” I said while rubbing my eyes.

“But it is my love.”

“No you’re dead I saw them bury you... I saw you die.”

She didn’t say anything instead she just smiled while making her way over to me.

“I need you to know that it’s not your fault, you didn’t do this to me my mother did.”

I began to cry, that’s when she brought her hand up to my cheek and I swear it felt real.

“Toni, I love you even in death please don’t throw your life away because of me.”

I shook my head. “There is no me without you.”

“There has to be, I want you to promise me something.” She said while caressing my cheek.

“Okay, what is it?”

“That you will move on with your life and do better things. Take pictures, go on road trips, take care of the Serpents. But more importantly, take care of yourself. Can you do that for me?”

“Cheryl, I don’t think I can.”

“Please Toni for me?”

I took a deep breath before nodding. “Okay, I will.”

Then before I knew it I was awake.

“Fangs?” I said while rubbing my eyes.

“Morning Tiny.” He said while coming out of the kitchen with two coffee mugs.

“Where’s Pea?”

“Doing some delivery for Fp.” He said while handing me one of the mugs.

“Why are you here?” I said while taking a sip of whatever Fangs just handed me. 

He laughed. “Well nice to see you too.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sweet pea doesn’t trust me to be alone?”

“He’s just looking out for you.”

“Fangs as much as I love you I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.”

“You can’t be serious? What am I gonna do try and go be with Cheryl?”

He gave me a look. “Oh my god, Sweet Pea thinks I’m going to try and off myself.”

“Well can you blame him?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well according to him you were out of it last night.”

“I was drunk.”

“He said you were blaming Cheryl’s death on yourself and you told him it should have been you.”

I scoffed. “That doesn’t mean I want to hurt myself though.”

“Look let’s not talk about this, how about you go get yourself cleaned up and we’ll go grab something to eat.”

“How about you stop talking to me like a child. I don’t need to be on Sweet Peas suicide watch. l am perfectly fine why can’t any of you see that?”

“Because you’re not fine.”

When Fangs said that I just couldn’t take it anymore. “Whatever I’m out of here,” I said while getting up and grabbing my Serpents jacket along with the keys to my bike.


	3. Chapter 3

After my little outburst with Fangs, I decided to go back to Thistle house. Keep in mind I haven’t been back there since Cheryl passed. This also probably wasn’t my best idea considering my current state of mind. When I pulled into the driveway memories immediately came flooding back. I got off my bike and went up to the door. Before I opened the door I stood there reminiscing with one memory coming to mind. 

“Welcome to your new home babe,” Cheryl said while standing in the doorway with a smile on her face.

I smiled back at her. “I think I’m gonna like it here.” She grabbed my hand while pulling me inside and shutting the door behind her.

I smiled to myself while fiddling with my keys. I took a deep breath before opening the door. I took one good look around the empty house. It was almost heartbreaking being back here. Cheryl and I had shared so many memories here.

“No, babe stop.” Cheryl giggled as I chased her around the kitchen with a bowl of flour. 

I finally found my way upstairs and immediately stopped in the doorway of my and Cheryl’s bedroom.

“I am not getting on the death trap you call a motorcycle,” Cheryl said getting up from her vanity and making her way over to our bed.

“Babe, come on it’ll be fun. Road trips are the best and it’s summer. I mean don’t you wanna be able to say you got to go on a badass road trip with your totally hot gang member girlfriend on the back of a motorcycle.”

“As tempting as that sounds TT I’d rather stay here in the comfort of our home.”

I smiled. 

“What?” Cheryl said.

“I just like the sound of that, our home.”

Cheryl smiled while pulling me in for a kiss. “Okay, maybe I’ll reconsider the road trip.” She said as we both pulled away for air.

I sighed while forcing myself inside the room, I took one look around and started to regret my decision. I made my way over to Cheryl’s vanity.

“What if you just didn’t go?” Cheryl said while rubbing lotion up and down her arms.

“You know I can’t do that, the Serpents need me tonight.”

She sighed. “I know, but I worry.”

I smiled while leaning down and kissing her cheek. “You have nothing to worry about I’ll be fine.”

“You Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

I got up making my way over to our bed.

“Cheryl, are you sure?” I said while looking down at her.

She took a deep breath. “I’m sure I want to do this with you.” She said resting her hand on my cheek.

I nodded while leaning down till our lips met.

I ran my fingers along with the silky material and then stopped when something caught my eye. Something was glistening on Cheryl's pillow, I raised an eyebrow while picking it up to discover that it was a ring. When I looked back down I saw a piece of paper, I picked it up while unfolding it.

My dearest TT,

If you’re reading this I am most likely dead and that ring you’re holding is the Blossom family ring. My Nana gave it to me before she passed. The ring means everything to me you know that and that’s why I am giving it to you, as a reminder that I will always be with you. I love you so much never forget that.

Tears started to roll down my cheek onto the paper, it felt as if I had this really bad pain in my chest. I took the ring while slipping it onto my finger and lying down on Cheryl’s side on the bed, and before I knew I just couldn’t stop crying. 

That’s when I heard someone downstairs. “Tiny?” It almost sounded like Sweet Pea.

Before I could even blink there he was standing at the foot of the bed. 

“Oh Tiny.” He said sitting down beside me, that’s when I sat up while throwing my arms around his neck.

“Pea, it hurts,” I said sobbing into his shoulder.

“I know.” He said rubbing his hands up and down my back


End file.
